Wedding Speeches Made Easy 

David Carle of Glasgow Toastmasters Club shares some thoughts on the art of speech-making.
Winston Churchill once said that the three most difficult things in life are to climb a wall that is leaning towards you; to kiss a girl who is leaning away from you; and to make a speech. I can’t help with the first two but, before you really start to worry about the specifics of what you’ll say, here are some general ideas for taking the fear out of preparing and delivering a wedding speech.

Content

Ideally, you should start gathering possible content for your speech long before the wedding day. Jot down any keywords, phrases, quotations and ideas as they come to you. Some people find that creating a mind map – a visual diagram using colours and images – is ideal for this.

Structure

Everyone knows a speech should have a beginning, middle and end, but it can be easy to forget the purpose of each.

• Firstly, think about how you can grab your listeners’ attention with a powerful or unusual opening.
• For the middle section, it’s advisable to have three to five points. Three is usually plenty – if you have too many, the audience will get distracted, and you may run over time.
• Finally, give some thought to how you will finish – perhaps with a call to action (“Ladies and gentlemen, please raise your glasses to the bride and groom”), or by referring back to the opening of your wedding speech.

One suggestion I'd recommend is to memorise your opening and closing, so you can give your full attention to your audience rather than looking at your notes.

Preparation

Allow yourself plenty of time – a good guideline is one hour of preparation time per minute of speaking time. This allows for writing, reading, reviewing, and practising. So to do justice to a six-minute speech could take six hours of preparation.
There’s a saying that a good speaker always writes their speech but never reads their speech. What this means is that you should:

• Write down your speech word for word. Add punctuation for pauses if this helps.
• Practise it out loud (in front of a mirror if you like - this can improve your gestures). I usually find that I trip over some parts, so have to rephrase them until I can say them without stumbling.
• Time yourself giving the wedding speech out loud, and allow a little extra time for audience reactions.
• If you use a word processor, check how many words you've used, then divide that by the number of words you speak out loud per minute. For example, if your document contains 850 words and you talk at about 100 words per minute, your speech will take about eight-and-a-half minutes. Remember that it's generally better to be a minute short than 3 minutes over time.
• It’s also a good idea at this stage to consider points in the speech where you would want to pause, use gestures, or introduce props.
• Check that your language is not repetitive; can you add impact to your speech by changing some phrases, or using ‘word pictures’? For example, rather than saying "It was a really hot day", you might try something like "the sky shimmered like hot oil in a frying pan".
• Once you’re happy with the sound of your speech, I’d suggest that you summarise it into keywords on a single page, or index cards, or a mind map.
• If you’re keen to reduce your use of notes, you could place them faced down in front of you; that way, you have them if you need them, but you probably won't use them.

In Summary

1. Keep a list of ideas to use as possible content.
2. Think about the structure: Beginning, Middle (three to five points) and Ending.
3. Make your start and ending powerful, and memorise them.
4. Preparation (If you have three months to plan a wedding speech, use this time!)
5. Make sure you clearly signal the end of your speech – just finish once.
6. As Dorothy Sarnoff once said: "Make sure you have finished speaking before your audience has finished listening.”

Good luck!

Brides Wedding Speeches:

Example Speeches - Brides Speech #1:

Friends and family – I'd like to thank all of you for being here today, especially since many of you knew that I'd want to say a few words … it’s very touching that you still decided to come.

From the moment we got engaged I’ve been thinking about this wedding. I just wanted everything to be perfect and was determined not to overlook even the most insignificant detail. But I needn’t have worried, his best man made sure he was there.

I’m so glad to be married to Paul; caring, talented, modest, charming – I can see why he picked me. Seriously, I don’t think there could ever be anyone in this world more perfect for me than Paul is and I appreciate my good fortune in marrying such a warm-hearten and loving man. When we first started going out together I was attracted by his ambition, drive and determination. Three years later, when he proposed to me, I released that without those qualities our marriage would still be as strong and I’d love him just as much. Paul brings out the good in me, he makes me laugh and he makes me enjoy each and every moment of life just by being a part of mine. They say that you don't marry someone you can live with – you marry the person who you cannot live without. This is certainly true with Paul, I simply couldn’t live without him and I look forward to growing old and grey with him at my side.

But a lot of people seem to think there is a big difference to your relationship once you are married. Someone told me that before marriage a man will lay awake all night thinking about something you said, while after marriage he'll fall asleep before you have finished saying it. Well, Paul has talked to me about marriage and how life is going to change. He spoke about the hours in front of the kitchen sink, the washing of socks, unpaid secretary, social organizer, babysitter, cook, etc … and for the first couple of months asked if I’d be willing to help him out.

Today would not have gone nearly so well without the generous help of so many people – and whilst my husband has already taken care of the ‘thank yous’, I would like to single out a few of you for my own praise.

Firstly, my wonderful mother who has been a pillar of strength over the last eight months and the rock of the foundation on which this whole day has been built. In my life she has made me very happy and I must take this opportunity to thank her not only for her enduring and mostly patient love, but also for planning and executing such a wonderful day as today.

Moving on to my father, who wanted to give me the wedding of my dreams and succeeded. I understand there was a bet going on as to whether he would have tears in his eyes when he walked me down the aisle today. He did have tears in his eyes, but that might have been because he was worrying over what he would say to his bank manager on Monday morning. My dad is a formidable character as well as a devoted family man. We are very close and, not surprisingly, given his spirit, his generosity and his wisdom, I’ve always looked up to him. It would take quite a man to live up to my father, but in Paul, I have found that man.

There are other parents I want to thank too – my husband’s, for their generous contribution and their continuous support in the lead up to the wedding. Sally and Ray made me feel so welcome right from the very first time I met them and I feel immensely fortunate to have married into such a great family. My sincere wish is that together Paul and I can build a home that is as welcoming and as full of love and happiness as theirs is – personally speaking I also quite like the idea of five bedrooms, three bathrooms and a big garden too.

Of course, I have another special reason to thank Sally and Ray – their care and guidance over the years has had a very positive influence over Paul and their very best qualities have rubbed off on him. They raised him so he’d grow up to be a perfect husband. Look how well he did today saying, ‘I do’ at the right place in the ceremony. As long as he keeps saying ‘Yes dear’ we'll have a wonderful marriage.

Our supporting cast deserves recognition as well. And they are all of Paul’s brothers, Gary, Richard and Mark – our ushers. Paul’s best man and best friend, Jason … depending on the contents of his speech they might even stay friends. My bridesmaids, Helen and Liz – who have been a terrific help to me, not only today, but throughout the many weeks of intense wedding preparation. And last but not least, I’d like to make a special mention of Lucy, my chief bridesmaid. She is the unsung heroine of this wedding, without all her effort today would not have been half as enjoyable for me. She is my oldest and dearest friend and we have been through some bad times and we have been through a lot of good times. Her friendship has been a source of strength to me throughout the years and I felt honored to have her standing with me today.

Finally, let me end as I began, by thanking you all once again for coming tonight. I can honestly say that today would not have been the same if we had not been in the company of our dear friends and family. At wedding’s it is the guests that create the party atmosphere and you good people have certainly done that for us. May I propose a toast to love, laughter and friendship.

Cheers!

Giving a wedding speech is one of the most high-pressure situations a person can face. After all, it's not every day that 250 people are smiling expectantly at you as the bride and groom wait to hear what wonderful things you have to say about them. Don't sweat it. You'll have those guests grabbing their gut in hilarity and wiping their tears away with that pricey linen napkin.

Instructions: 

1. • Tell everyone who you are. Start a wedding speech with a short tidbit that qualifies you and your role in the wedding party.
     
   • 2
     Outline your speech. Silly as it sounds, creating an informal skeleton will help you come up with the words. Like an essay, your speech should have a beginning, middle and end. The best wedding speeches start out calmly, rise in the middle with humor or action and end on a sentimental note.
     
   • 3
     Include humor. This is quite possibly the most important part of a wedding speech. The humor can be anecdotal, such as a funny story or memory, or the humor can be a joke about the couple. Test out the "laugh factor" on someone, but don't worry to much. People tend to laugh politely at weddings, no matter how bad the jokes are.
     
   • 4
     Curb writer's block by building the speech around one thing. Most people who are in charge of writing the wedding speech can't get that first sentence down on paper. Focus on an inspirational quote, a song or even a vivid memory of the couple in order to jump start the writing process.
     
   • 5
     Put the bride and groom in the limelight, not yourself. Wedding speeches that talk more about the speaker than about the happy couple are common. Don't fall into this trap. Since everyone can't stand up and say something, you are the chosen representative. People will resent a speech that is more about you than it is about the couple of honor.
     
   • 6
     End with a sentence that reintroduces or reminds everyone to toast the couple. For example, you might finish with, "I give you Tom and Susan." Or, "Here's to Tom's and Susan's happiness." Or, "It gives me great pleasure to lead everyone in a toast honoring Tom and Susan."